


Nothing to Fear

by RedRowan



Series: The Boxer's Daughter [12]
Category: Daredevil (TV), Iron Fist (TV), Jessica Jones (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Defenders (Marvel TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, F/M, Female Matt Murdock, Kid Fic, Parenthood, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 07:32:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16342478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedRowan/pseuds/RedRowan
Summary: Balancing a newborn and a superhero career can be tricky.





	Nothing to Fear

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Daredevil Season 3, everyone!

The first few months of Ruthie Nelson-Murdock’s life are stressful for her parents. There’s the steep learning curve of _actually caring for a helpless human life_ , the lack of sleep (not that different from normal, really), and the looming cloud of possible postpartum complications.

About two weeks after Ruthie’s birth, Mattie breaks down in tears for no apparent reason. Foggy holds her, but before long, Ruthie starts fussing, and Mattie waves Foggy off to take care of the baby.

She sobs her heart out in the bedroom, curled in a nest of sheets that haven’t been changed in too long. Once she’s done, she falls asleep, unable to move.

She wakes up to Foggy singing “Dear Theodosia” to Ruthie. It’s the only song that gets her to sleep.

“ _When you smile, you knock me out, I fall apart,  
And I thought I was so smart…_ ”

“She’s going to grow up thinking her name is Theodosia,” Mattie says from the nursery door as Foggy puts Ruthie down in her crib. “Or possibly Phillip.”

“There are worse names,” Foggy says.

“Still not over Franklin Percy, are you?”

“Never.”

Mattie strolls to the crib, and leans over, brushing her fingers over Ruthie’s tiny hand. She didn’t know that skin could be that soft.

“Feeling better?” Foggy says.

“Yeah. I actually am.”

She’s not lying.

They figure out how to divide up the work. How to care for each other as much as Ruthie. They take up Ruthie’s grandparents (and surrogate _abuela_ Elena) on babysitting offers. Mattie consults for the Rand-Meachum Foundation’s legal department, Foggy goes to a Mommy and Baby yoga class.

Mattie doesn’t put on the mask. Not yet.

She trains with Danny instead. She’s losing weight fast, putting the muscle back on.

“So, I asked Ward what I should do as Ruthie’s godfather,” Danny says, when they’re taking a break. “He told me to set up a trust fund.”

Mattie nearly chokes on her water.

“You want to set up a trust fund for Ruthie?” she manages.

“Yeah. You know, in case something happens to -“ He gestures between the two of them. “It’s not impossible.”

Mattie thinks of being trapped at the bottom of Midland Circle with Danny as her only ally.

“Yeah, I know,” she says. “But a _trust fund_ -“

“It’ll make sure that Ruthie’s taken care of. And she can go to any school you and Foggy want.”

“How much are we talking about?”

Danny says a number. Mattie nearly needs to sit down.

“I think I need to talk to Foggy,” she says.

“OK.” Danny bounces back into the ring, holding the ropes open for her. “When are you going back to work, by the way?”

Mattie climbs into the ring. “You gave me a year of mat leave.”

“Not that work.” He jabs at her, and she ducks under his fist, parrying with her forearm.

“I don’t know.” She strikes up with her knee, and Danny flips backwards, gracefully landing on his feet. “Don’t think I can fit in the suit yet.”

“That’s not it.” Danny tries to sweep at her legs, and she rolls sideways, but Danny follows her, quick as a flash. “You’re ready, you know you are.”

Mattie punches up, then kicks Danny off her, sending him into the ropes. He uses them for momentum, leaping at her and catching her across the chest, slamming them both into the floor. He stands up, and offers her his hand.

“Just let me have this time,” she says, not moving.

Danny drops his hand. “It’s not up to me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Mattie grumbles as she gets to her feet.

“Mattie. The city, it’s not getting better. Colleen…what she said, that she couldn’t be Daredevil anymore…none of us can. None of us are you.”

“Maybe you’re better off not trying.” Mattie starts to unwrap her hands. “I hurt a lot of people I care about as Daredevil. I got Elektra killed -“

“To be fair, she did get better.”

Mattie has to laugh at that. She turns to Danny, tries to focus as best she can on his face. “I don’t want to screw this up for Ruthie.”

Danny puts his hand on her shoulder. “We’ll make sure you don’t. All of us.”

She invites Danny over for dinner to see his goddaughter, and she slips her hand into the crook of his arm as they walk through the slush of Hell’s Kitchen in the winter.

And she hears it.

“Shit. I mean shirt,” she says.

“Shirt?”

“Foggy’s trying to get me not to swear in front of Ruthie.” She nods toward the corner. “Mugging. Two against one.”

Danny takes a step away from her. “Stay here.”

He runs around the corner; she can hear him shout “Hey!” and then the sounds of a fight. Behind her, she hears the sound of running feet.

_Of course._

She could step to the side. She could shout to warn Danny that there are two more coming his way. She could duck away and stay out of the fight and let Danny handle it because he’s the Immortal Iron Fist, and four on one barely ranks on his difficulty scale.

She sighs, and whips her cane out at ankle level, sending one of the runners face first into the pole of the scaffolding above her. The other one manages to get out a “What the -“ before her elbow breaks his nose. A second jab lands in his solar plexus, and her knee sends him toppling onto his back.

Danny saunters around the corner.

“What happened?” he says.

“Don’t know. Didn’t see a thing,” she says.

They laugh as they continue on their way. She doesn’t tell him how her heart is pounding.

That night, after feeding and changing Ruthie, she sits on the floor and runs her fingertips over the Daredevil mask. It’s black now, according to Melvin.

_Girls in red. Girls and wolves, both have sharp teeth._

Maybe it’s better to leave the red behind.

Downstairs, she hears Jessica stalk into her apartment and slam the door. Then the scrape of a drawer, and the twist of a bottle cap.

Ruthie gurgles in her crib, but doesn’t start to cry. Foggy snores in the bedroom.

Mattie wraps a hoodie around herself and climbs onto the fire escape, sitting on the grate and leaning her back against the wall. She listens to the sirens. Always the sirens.

They never stop. They haven’t stopped since she was a child, making up stories.

She doesn’t want Ruthie to grow up playing the same game she did.

Ruthie cries, and Mattie climbs back into the apartment. Foggy stumbles out of bed.

“It’s OK,” Mattie says. “She’s just hungry.”

Foggy doesn’t go back to bed, though. Mattie holds Ruthie at her breast while Foggy picks up the suit and locks it away.

“When?” he says.

“Soon,” she says. There’s not much more to say.

Foggy nods. “At least promise me that you’re going with Danny the first time out.”

“Promise.” She grins. “Somebody’s got to stop him from making all those potholes.”

Ruthie finishes, and Mattie burps her before Foggy puts her back in her crib, singing “Dear Theodosia.”

“ _…when you came into the world, you cried and it broke my heart._ ”

Her first night back in the suit (which is too tight in the bust now), she goes with Danny to Chinatown. They stop some sort of rumble between two gangs, and a little bit of petty theft. A good night to start out.

Ruthie is crying when she climbs in the window.

“Thank God. I think she just wants you,” Foggy says, holding out the baby.

Mattie takes a second to strip out of the hard armour of the suit, and Ruthie cuddles against the soft fleece she’s wearing underneath. Mattie rocks her, making soothing noises.

The second night, Mattie goes out alone. She realizes a few hours in that she’s been circling around her building, keeping an ear out for Ruthie’s cries.

_It’s fine, she’s with Foggy, of course she’s fine._

The third night, she forces herself to go farther afield. She hears a camera shutter click, and drops onto a fire escape next to Jessica.

“Didn’t know you were back at it,” Jessica says.

“Only the past few days,” Mattie says. “Cheating spouse?”

“Insurance scam. Guy’s been claiming a back injury, but those positions his girlfriend’s got him in are definitely not recommended by a physiotherapist.”

Mattie laughs, then turns her head when something catches her ear.

“What is it, Lassie?” Jessica says.

“Some sort of negotiation. Definitely criminal. Want to help me crash the party?”

“Nah,” Jessica says. “Got a job to do.”

Mattie hesitates, wanting to convince Jessica to go with her. She decides against it, decides that Jessica is an adult who can make her own choices, and instead jumps to reach the next level of the fire escape.

“See you around,” Mattie says.

“Asshole,” Jessica says fondly.

Mattie doesn’t crash the criminal party. Instead, she listens to the negotiations, noting times and places of caches and deliveries.

_Hey, look. I think I’m growing._

She stops a bodega holdup on the way home, then lands on the roof of her building. She’s climbing in the window as she hears Ruthie start to wake, and she rushes into the nursery, gathering up the baby before she can start crying and wake Foggy up. She pulls off her helmet and pushes the cowl down, but Ruthie is fussing before she can get the rest of her armour off.

“Shh, shh,” she whispers, holding Ruthie up so that her face is at least against the soft fabric around Mattie’s neck. She sniffs; Ruthie doesn’t need changing. Her belly is full, so she’s not hungry. She just wants to be held, apparently. “OK, OK, Mommy’s here…” She rocks the baby gently as she awkwardly pulls her gloves off, stroking her daughter’s hair once her hands are bare. She tries to put Ruthie down so she can take the armour off, but every time she loosens her grip on the baby, Ruthie threatens to cry again. Mattie resigns herself to wandering around the nursery in the Daredevil suit as she tries to soothe the baby. She hums the tune to “Dear Theodosia,” but can’t remember the words at the beginning, so she skips to the bit she does know.

“ _My father wasn’t around_ ,” she sings softly.  
“ _I swear that I’ll be around for you,_  
_I’ll do whatever it takes._  
_I’ll make a million mistakes._  
_I’ll make the world safe and sound for you.”_

When Foggy finds them in the morning, they are both fast asleep; Mattie still in her Daredevil armour, sitting in the nursery chair, with Ruthie curled up on her chest. Foggy tucks a blanket around them and drops a kiss on each of their heads, and thinks how lucky he is to have them.


End file.
